I’ve recently posted many items on Craig’s List in preparation for moving aboard a sailboat. I’ve consequently received a few emails which reek of a scam. Today I responded:

Dear “Dominic”

My spidy sense tells me you’re a big scammer. I’ve received a few emails which follow your exact formula: PayPal payment and “agent” pick up. I want to let you down easy and tell you I’m not a brainless automaton and won’t fall for this. I accept cash only. Cash is that green papery stuff people keep in their wallets, used in exchange for goods or services. I know this can be confusing, as currency comes in different forms: plastic credit cards, checks, wire-transferring, etc. Unlike those other forms, cash is, as they say, “King” because I can put it in my wallet and know it’s the real deal, not a technical shenanigan.

I value my time, and I want you to value yours. So stop sending me silly emails and put your time into something a little more productive, like pulling the labels off your pillows or running vinegar through your coffee machine (manufacturers recommend you do this every 90 days or so, just FYI). If you’ve already pulled the labels and cleaned your brewer, maybe you could go to the library and learn something about wildflowers or horseflies. You can pick the subject, it matters not to me.

Anyhoo, I hope you have fun with all the extra time you’ll have, since you’ll no longer be corresponding with me. Feel free to keep whatever it is you’re doing to yourself.

All the best,

Courtney

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