My Upstairs Neighbor Stomps

Actually he or she isn’t stomping, but it certainly sounds like it. Start typing “my upstair” into Google and look what you get.

upstair

Click on any results you get from Google and all upstairs neighbors swear they’re not stomping but walking regularly. The downstairs neighbors will get annoyed any time the upstairs neighbors moves throughout their unit (which they have every right to do) and soon a contest in passive aggression begins. Having a loud-walking upstairs neighbor is common, but how loud are they? In the five weeks I’ve been living in my second level condo, I know that my upstairs neighbor is loud and also a psychopath–this I’ve observed directly and gathered through eye-witness accounts. But about his walking specifically; when he walks it sounds like he’s stomping, but he’s walking as a shoe has trained him. He doesn’t know his gait sounds like a stomp, and doesn’t know what to do about the complaints.

downstair

To you upstairs neighbors annoyed with your downstairs neighbors who claim you’re stomping and who are retaliating by blasting loud music, please read on. To my fellow downstairs neighbors dealing with alleged stompers, this is for you, too. Continue reading

Dealing with Piracy

1328718_pirate_flagWhenever I hear a recently-successful author say of their book’s achievement, “I never in my wildest dreams thought this would happen,” I think one of two things:

  1. They’re lying for the sake of humility or
  2. Their dreams are rather bland.

As someone who relies on their imagination for a living, I think it’s typically door number one. Who wants to say “Yes, I totally knew my book was going to rock the world”? No one does.

Short of walking the red carpet at their book-to-movie premiere, all authors hope to live exclusively on their craft. That could mean making enough in book royalties to support a mortgage payment, insurance for both house and car, groceries, and all other living expenses. Perhaps the occasional dinner out and shopping splurge. You know, daily living. Writing as a profession, a job, a way of life. That’s a dream all of us want to see fulfilled quite desperately. Continue reading

Castle on the Water

condoI’m officially ensconced in a waterfront condo nestled in lovely Kitsap County. House-sitting was fine, but I’m glad to be in my palace. It took a few days to transport my remaining belongings from the house to the condo, most of which was done while dealing with a dastardly cold, but moving is finally done. Riley and I are happy to be settled in a place that’ll be entirely ours for at least a year. Continue reading

Spartan Sprint 2013

This August I’ll be competing with a team in a Spartan Sprint. Rather than sitting out under a tree while I type this, I should be training. Like running or pushups or, God forbid, burpees [shiver].

The Spartan Sprint is a 5k race with obstacles. Participants will be crossfitters, current and former military, guys eager to prove-themselves. And me. It’ll entail running through mud, water, climbing ropes and walls, carrying heavy loads over distances, likely some good natured swearing, that kind of thing.

It means I have to start running. I have to start climbing. I have to use these sunny days to my advantage and get out there and do. It means pushing wisely and not being a moron like walking barefoot on the hot, rough asphalt when my tender tootsies have been hibernating in socks all winter, and now are in agony. Stuff like that.

Have any killer exercise moves that’ll help me out? I just began yoga, I own the Russian Twists, but would love to try some new muscle sculpting workouts. Suggestions welcome.

Anyone else competing this summer in a Spartan race? Ever done one before? Never heard of it? Check out this video for an overview:

Jaden Baker wins Gold at eLit Awards

elit_gold_epsAfter releasing a revised edition of Jaden Baker late in 2012, I submitted it for the eLit Awards. It was the only award I submitted it for, finding the eLit best described how the book was made and sold (an independently published eBook).

The three most submitted categories were Popular Fiction, Literary Fiction and Mystery/Suspense/Thriller, of which Jaden Baker took first place.

About the eLit Awards

From the official website: “The eLit Awards are an industry-wide, unaffiliated awards program open to all members of the electronic publishing industry.

The contest is presented by Jenkins Group Inc., a Michigan-based book publishing and marketing services company that has operated the popular Independent Publisher Book Awards contest since 1996.

The eLit Awards celebrate the ever growing market of electronic publishing in the wide variety of reader formats. Hail the revolutionary world of e-books and join the awards program that’s highlighting the best in electronic reading entertainment!”

Click here to see the full list of winners.

Pirates and Impostors

There were two ways I’d originally opened this blog post, each leading to the stellar conclusion that pirating books is akin to shaving the fuzz off of newborn puppies, and all those who pirate should be taken out back and slapped across the face with outdated magazines. My book was recently pirated and rather than feel flattered that some ne’er-do-well found my novel worthy of his thievery, I just felt peeved. So there it is. Don’t steal books.

Because of the hijacking of my novel, I was sensitive to what else was going on with my book across the internet. Naturally I had to Google myself. It was possibly on Google page twelve or thirteen (my many blog posts make me a decent-sized internet presence) I found an impersonator on Twitter. Continue reading

The Boredom Awareness Campaign

Boredom is a devastating, world-wide societal affliction and it is sadly tolerated, resulting in life-sucking activities like staff meetings, insurance conferences, and taupe-painted waiting rooms with tables full of expired automotive magazines.

We can do better. We can end boredom one butt wiggle and clumsy ballet twirl at a time.

Let’s put an end to boredom for a world free of blahs and ho hums. Read more about the campaign on Krumblekin™ Cookies: Boredom Awareness Campaign.