Silly

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Someone at work threw out my food

Dear Diary, Someone at work threw out my yogurt. I’m not sure why they needed to throw it out, other than to make room for their massive tupperware container which held nothing more than pathetic, wilted leaves of lettuce. Perhaps they have a folic acid deficiency and were mandated by doctor’s orders to clear the tiny fridge and…

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The proper way to borrow teeth

No one has ever made known the proper way to borrow someone’s teeth. You never know when you’ll have to call on a friend for the use of their choppers, it’s time someone clarify the process. Common courtesy dictates you ask to borrow dentures with a series of notes, at least two but no more…

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COFFEE: THE ADVENTURE

IN A WORLD filled with mediocrity, incompetence, open office plans, and morons, ONE SUBSTANCE raises the hope of humanity: COFFEE. Strap in for the caffeine thrill ride of your life, as our heroes wage war against corporate crap. WATCH as caffeine, flooding their veins, equips them with the WEAPONS to battle even the most ridiculous…

Pirates and Impostors

There were two ways I’d originally opened this blog post, each leading to the stellar conclusion that pirating books is akin to shaving the fuzz off of newborn puppies, and all those who pirate should be taken out back and slapped across the face with outdated magazines. My book was recently pirated and rather than…

The Boredom Awareness Campaign

Boredom is a devastating, world-wide societal affliction and it is sadly tolerated, resulting in life-sucking activities like staff meetings, insurance conferences, and taupe-painted waiting rooms with tables full of expired automotive magazines. We can do better. We can end boredom one butt wiggle and clumsy ballet twirl at a time. Let’s put an end to…

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Living in the Dream Machine

Something untoward is happening to my sleeping habits, all thanks to my dream machine: a small, seemingly harmless, little 200 watt heater by Lasko. My reason for acquiring the little device was purely comfort-related, but this thing has morphed into a comatose-inducing, bizarre dream-creating contraption.

Copyright 2015. Courtney Kirchoff.