I tweaked my neck and now my life is boring

Dear Diary, I tweaked my neck on Monday and my life has been an exercise in boring futility ever since. The cause of this petty, nagging “injury” could be one of many things: working at a stationary desk while using my hands only to click a mouse or strike a key; performing Bonsai (EMOM-until failure:…


I CrossFit, Therefore I Tear My Hands

When I was a young girl full of dreams delusions, I never thought I’d grow up to be a woman who shaved her palms or went up in t-shirt size to accommodate her expanding arms. I didn’t foresee swinging 35 pounds and following up the fun by throwing myself on the ground for a sort…


Why I’m living on land

Remember when you were a kid and few things were more fun than playing in a pool? And your parents, especially your mother, would just lounge on a chair and might not even get a drizzle of water anywhere on her skin? I remember perfectly. Pools ranked high on my fun-o-meter as a child, and…


The office coffee is the scourge of humanity

Dear Diary, The office coffee burns a hole in my tongue and in my soul. It reminds me of hope lost in an abyss of abysmal despair, a place where dreams perish, where smiles and laughter are remnants of a past long ago forgotten, where a dark roast sets fire to intestines and burns any…


They’re playing music in the office

Dear Diary, They’re playing the music. What music doesn’t matter, they’re just playing it. Trapped and exposed in an open office plan, like a wounded antelope on the African plains waiting for a lion to pounce on and kill me, I sit at my desk with my headphones on, desperate to escape. Escape the noise,…

Copyright 2015. Courtney Kirchoff.