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Buying dandelion root tea makes me a wuss

Because I’m two sashays from becoming a full blown food hippie, I bought dandelion root tea. No, not a from local co-op where the owners don skirts of wheat and have an aversion to underarm deodorant, but I’m getting closer to frequenting such establishments. Anyway, dandelion root tea, according to the the pastel-colored box, helps…

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I tweaked my neck and now my life is boring

Dear Diary, I tweaked my neck on Monday and my life has been an exercise in boring futility ever since. The cause of this petty, nagging “injury” could be one of many things: working at a stationary desk while using my hands only to click a mouse or strike a key; performing Bonsai (EMOM-until failure:…

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I CrossFit, Therefore I Tear My Hands

When I was a young girl full of dreams delusions, I never thought I’d grow up to be a woman who shaved her palms or went up in t-shirt size to accommodate her expanding arms. I didn’t foresee swinging 35 pounds and following up the fun by throwing myself on the ground for a sort…

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Why I’m living on land

Remember when you were a kid and few things were more fun than playing in a pool? And your parents, especially your mother, would just lounge on a chair and might not even get a drizzle of water anywhere on her skin? I remember perfectly. Pools ranked high on my fun-o-meter as a child, and…

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To Be Safe Than Hunted: a Jaden Short Story

“A conundrum. One thing he couldn’t tolerate was being expected to follow someone’s orders. That barked command instilled in Jaden a desire to pry Cheap’s eyes from their sockets, then use the eyeballs to plug the pipes. A two birds with one stone solution. On the other hand, if Jaden was going to operate a…

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The office coffee is the scourge of humanity

Dear Diary, The office coffee burns a hole in my tongue and in my soul. It reminds me of hope lost in an abyss of abysmal despair, a place where dreams perish, where smiles and laughter are remnants of a past long ago forgotten, where a dark roast sets fire to intestines and burns any…

Copyright 2018. Courtney Kirchoff.