Here we go, week two! If you need to catch up on last week’s episode because you’re at work and you’d just rather not do whatever it is you’re being asked to do, probably before your appropriate amount of coffee, catch up and go here.

MONDAY: Ah the first day of the work week. Just as I was about to crash on my couch and wrap my lips around a cup of coffee, I noticed a pile of doggy poopy on my white — well, used to be white — Berber rug. I love the smell of crap in my hands in the morning.

TUESDAY: Starbuck’s WiFi doesn’t extend to my outdoor table.

WEDNESDAY: Toward the end of my garage work-out (arm and chest day), while listing to a podcast, the battery on my Bose Bluetooth speaker had the audacity to die. I was forced to listen by propping my phone up so the phone speaker’s reach could extend all of seven feet to where I was standing. Guess I was just too lazy to go into the house to get my over-the-ear Bose headphones.

THURSDAY: Missed a call for an early morning Skype to reboot my computer. So as not to commit a human resources infraction, I put on a shirt to support that which hangs from mi’ lady’s chest. Skype meeting was canceled.

FRIDAY: Tried re-establishing my now dead Amazon Affiliate account so as to link to the above Bluetooth speakers. Amazon called me for account verification, but I answered it from my laptop, not my phone. Couldn’t enter the verification code in time. Had to wait an hour to try again.

GUEST-PROBLEM: “Trapped in my basement while there are twenty mommies in my house giving the 21st a shower. Have to stay here for work. They offered cake, but I’m working on intermittent fasting. Damn.”

What were your first world problems of the week?